Activists, You Need Rest
On top of the Black Lives Matter protests, last month was also Indigenous History month AND pride month. But these aren’t mutually exclusive groups or “movements”. I believe we have so much decolonization work to do. All. Of. Us. In one way or another... we’ve all been colonized... assimilated. I don’t know about you, but something I’ve learned to embrace is that I am dangerous — wild, even. To shake down systems of oppression... is dangerous. Disruption is wild. I’ve felt a lot of “coming home” moments... I’ve felt closer to my ancestors than I have in a very long time (something I’ve always been aware of, but am learning to EXPECT it again). And one thing I know for sure... is we must decolonize. Be wild.
There were a few weeks where I was not sleeping well. I was having a lot of anxiety. I know I’m not the only one. The uncertainty of this year, externally & internally, has been overwhelming. I have so much to be grateful for. But I also can’t deny that I feel... stunned. That’s the best word I can think of. Everything is a little shocking but also normal at the same time? Not sure if that makes sense. So many relationships (with friends, family, companies, even my relationship with myself) has come into question. That is a lot. Navigating what every new day looks like... is a lot.
I also feel like I’ve made a lot of people upset lately. And I am pretty okay with it. A lot of people have made me upset too. I’ve called out white supremacy in people, but I’ve also pointed to so many amazing human beings with incredible resources. I’m really happy to do both quite honestly. I’ve gotten angry, I’ve gotten really sad... I’ve also gotten really inspired and excited — and that’s all usually before 10am. I’ve dealt with loss, gotten in fights, gained perspective & new goals... I’ve been all over the map. And I have no other expectation for myself than that. I’m getting good at confrontation & I like it. But I’m also still sensitive & truly expect the best out of everyone. And that’s what I mostly see - THE BEST. I lean towards seeing the cup half full always.... And when I get let down or disappointed - I FEEL that shit… In my SOUL. I am learning to let that be okay. Being angry & then motivated is okay. Being inspired and then sad is okay. I’m okay with this.
And to all my fellow activists, hear me out… It’s okay to be tired. You’ve been shouting & running around — feeling ALL the feels. It’s OKAY TO BE TIRED. Our work will never be done. I get that. But we can’t keep holding our eyes open with clothespins. You need rest. We aren’t going to run out of people to teach, call out & inspire. We aren’t going to run out of ways within ourselves to keep growing and learning and decolonizing. It’s lifelong, babies. But oh my god you need rest. I need rest. Idk what that looks like for you. Turning off your phone for a day (that doesn’t mean you gave up — you are RESTING), deleting certain apps, etc. Taking a moment isn’t turning a blind eye.... It's resting a very bloodshot, weepy, angry, exhausted eye. There is so much to be ACTIVE about right now. But look around — you aren’t alone. You aren’t holding up the world by yourself. I know it feels like it. But there’s so many of us. Take a moment. Heal yourself. If you are like me... you’ve been hurt, wounded & you need to address those wounds. What good are you if you just bleed out on the battle field. Activists... be good to you. Goodness starts with you — in you.
Also note: to be super clear — this is for activists. For the people who’ve clearly already moved on or just “couldn’t handle all the negativity”.... Just so you know, you are part of what’s absolutely draining the rest of us. We see you. You’re genuinely part of the problem. We don’t feel it’s okay to take rest because you checked out too early. Or some of you never checked in. Fix yourself.
So, I tend to focus on what is right in front me. I look for things that bring me peace and joy. Like re-potting plants, studying religions, listening to podcasts, enjoying being in my head. You know, as I was learning more about different religions — it became clear that each religion kind of has a “focus”. I think one of Jesus’ main focuses within activism was one of radical inclusion. Crazy how much of Christianity has been manipulated to be quite the exact opposite. It is really fun to study all kinds of religion without an agenda, expectation or fear. It’s really quite inspiring. Highly recommend.
I got nothing but love for you all. I hope you hear & feel that. Better days are around the corner. Go drink something delicious, have a dance party to your favorite music, buy a plant, listen to podcasts, watch some shows. There is light everywhere. Because light is where you are. You are magic. Never forget it.