Wonder & curiosity. History & culture. We all have a different idea of how the world came to be, depending on where we live & the traditions we grew up around. But nobody can *really* know. We weren’t there. There are people (some brilliant; some parrots) who really believe they have THE answer. And, who knows, maybe one of them is right. But we will never *really* know. So, let’s hold space for everyone’s truth. 

Speaking of not knowing… & to bring things up to the present day… NONE of us know for sure what things will look like when this pandemic is over. We can hope & assume who our friends & community are, but we really can’t know. There is a sense of shared trauma we are all experiencing. This has driven some people apart, and some people closer together. But we really can’t know what the future holds.

I’ve spoken with several of you who say the pandemic happened right about the time you had just started deconstructing, or had just left a toxic relationship, or had quit that horrible job. This may have allowed you to just slip right out of your communities without anyone even noticing. So, one on hand — you skipped out on some potential drama, but on the other — the loneliness & pain you are experiencing during this pandemic can feel self-inflicted. And that is a horrible feeling. It may have you questioning yourself, doubting your doubts, abandoning your intuition & even gas-lighting yourself into submission to your past self & habits. Trust me, I get it. But please notice where these feelings are coming from. Recognize that we all feel a little lonely. 

And to be clear — deconstruction doesn’t always means “conservative christian” to Progressive Christian or Universalist or Agnostic. It doesn’t require EVER affiliating with the Christian faith. Deconstruction can be done in any faith. It can happen without a religious affiliation at all. Deconstruction is reassessing ANY of the systems of belief you were taught or grew up with. This can be cultural, this can be social, political… the list goes on. It means asking the hard questions that can potentially lead to the dismantling of that particular belief structure. 

Your deconstruction doesn’t have to look like mine. It won’t because it can’t. We each have unique experiences. The way you handle deconstruction doesn’t have to look like the way I handle it. Not everybody needs to shout from the rooftop about their traumas, not everybody needs to start a podcast re-evaluating their faith, not everyone needs to talk about it as much as I do. I do it because 1) it is natural for me - I enjoy documenting my life in this way. 2) it is healing for me. To talk it out & to bounce off other people. 3) I can handle the weight of the responses (good, bad, people’s stories they share with me, etc). But it isn’t for everyone. And I don’t want you to feel like your deconstruction & reconstruction need to look the same as mine or anyone else’s. It won’t because it can’t. There is value in the way you process and nobody can take that away from you.