How many of you have had moments of re-thinking your whole life? Like, has all this time... sort of, made your life (slowly) flash before your eyes? It’s weird, ya know... like, where you are right now... the house you are in, who you are or are not quarantined with, what you’re wearing... your life has lead you to this moment. And it’s odd to think back and almost retrace your steps, no?

I think sometimes thinking about where I’ve come from, and then analyzing what brings me joy TODAY... helps me map out what I might want for myself in the future. But it’s weird. Memories come rushing back to me so suddenly during this time of stillness. Some of them make me smile and some of them make me cry. Allowing myself to FEEL is something I’ve been working on my wholllleeee life. And that is for another day, another rant.

But know that if your life is also flashing (slowly or not) before your eyes — take a breath, let it happen and allow yourself to feel. That’s the only way to do this thing. You can’t escape it. So, try to embrace it. I’m trying…

Everybody’s experience of this pandemic is very different. And I’m trying to be as understanding as possible. Some people already work from home, but miss their friends. Some people are now working from home & are either loving or hating it. Some people lost their jobs & filed for unemployment... some have kids to feed, some don’t. Some have family & friends that can help them out... some don’t. Not to mention all the people in school! I think the main thing is... no matter how you have been affected, please don’t act like this isn’t earth shattering for some folks. Yes, I’m all about the meme culture. Love it. But I see posts about how this is really just a “blessing in disguise” for all of us. And maybe it is for you — but careful how you use your words. Careful how you use your religion when you’re celebrating your privilege. Tread lightly & try to see beyond your circumstance.

Life will regain its balance... but for now — it’s chaotic. We can’t pretend it’s not. Weird things are gonna happen too. Just like on full moons when shit happens and you’re just like yeah — it’s a full moon. Remember, weird emotions might happen. Fights might happen (hopefully not). But when weird or odd or random or out of the ordinary things happen in your mind, body, spirit, feelings.... It is because everything is out of whack right now. I’m trying to remind myself of that. Things aren’t happening ON TOP of everything going on… Some things are caused by the off balance we are all in. I’ve been all over the place mentally and emotionally just when I had started to feel really good and that pisses me off. But I’m trying to stay positive and normal. But when I don’t or I can’t — it’s not because I’m not strong enough. It’s because the world is totally upside down right now. But it won’t be this way forever.