6 Tips For More Joy
Lots of questions lately about how to start living in liberation, freedom and joy after (and through) deconstruction.
There is really no step by step action plan and everybody’s journey is different, but if you’re looking for that spark of life again after a season of deconstruction — heres my current thoughts on a Friday.
Decide today that you going to live in the freedom you’ve worked so hard to gain. You will certainly still have hard days, but you are no longer living in BROKEN-ness. Life is not going to be trigger-less, but today is the day you decide that you are so much more than your pain.
Honor and respect past versions of yourself. They got you here today bb!! Pat yourself on the back, treat yo-self to your favorite little things and say, “Wow - you really did it / are doing it. Look at you go!” Then give yourself a cute little bootie smack because damn this shit is hard.
Try. Things. On. You will never know what spiritual practice (or none) works for you unless you try it. Read up on other religions and spirituality (careful of appropriation) and try things out. Wanna try tarot? Meditation? Witchcraft? Don’t let woke police scare you from exploring YOUR interpretation of spirituality (or none). Have a little fun with it.
Follow “exvangelical” or “deconstruct” accounts that lift you up. I LOVE learning truths from so many beautiful accounts and activists, but these days - I try to fill my feed with —people who mix up the hard lessons with a bit of humor. Careful not to overwhelm yourself with ONLY the “lessons”.
Similar to the “try on” moment — what are some aspects of life that maybe you have been a little nervous to try? It seems trivial… but…. Do you know what kind of drink you like? If we went out together — do you know what you would order? Have you ever danced until 2 in the morning in a club with a friend? Have you ever tried the devils lettuce? I am NOT SAYING YOU NEED THIS. But I used to be afraid of all the above, and the act of taking it slow and easy but still a little nervous REALLY helped me be brave in other areas of my life. (MY ACCOUNT IS NOT FOR KIDS so don’t even come at me about that)
Commit yourself to your joy. Just like going on a first date with a stranger — it may feel a little 'fumbly' and awkward at first. You might find out you DON’T like dancing until 2, or tarot or…… but how can you know if you don’t try?
TAKE YOUR TIME. I am no professional at joy, but I lived a very long time without it and I know how much better life is WITH it. I want you to feel the same. This took me years to heal… take… your….time.
I don’t normally ‘prescribe’ things because I really don’t like telling people what to do. So I hope you hear that. These things worked for me and maybe they will work for you. If you hate this — amazing, do you. If you love this — amazing, do you. It really doesn’t affect me how you live your life but I am happy to share my tips as I think of them.